NAVIGATING PERIMENOPAUSE: A NEW HORMONAL CHAPTER

There's a saying that when you're going through hell, you just need to keep going. And so too, should I add, the perimenopause.

At 44, I'm well and truly into my perimenopause era and with the beauty of hindsight, I suspect I've been in this new hormonal chapter for a while. At least five or so years, if not longer.

I can't remember exactly when my body felt like it was going 'out of whack' but I do know that at around the age of 39 (just a couple of years after having my youngest child) I began to notice a few weird things. Hair loss - that I put down to being a new mum, erratic periods - that I put down to being a new mum and weight gain - that I put down to being a new mum and a tired, hungry one at that!

I turned 40 and celebrated in style with a party, trip to Iceland and an amazing rainbow sequin dress and didn't think anything more about them. I don't recall ever hearing the word perimenopause and amongst my girlfriends, it wasn't even mentioned.

Fast forward a couple of years though and things began to get even stranger. My periods were now not just erratic but ridiculously frequent, sometimes - to my horror - twice a month. The hair loss stopped but the weight gain continued and was soon joined by other new and unusual symptoms - dry eyes, a dry mouth, itchy skin, joint pains, night sweats and then, the worst of all, anxiety.

At the beginning of 2022, I began to experience severe anxiety attacks, after never having suffered from them before. They would happen usually at night, just as my head hit the pillow or I would wake up experiencing one. On average, they happened 3-4 times a month and I'm not exaggerating that at their worst and most powerful, I thought I was going to die. I couldn't breathe, I'd feel nauseous suddenly, my body felt like it wasn't my own, I'd feel like I was going to faint and was hit by a wave of terrifying, impending doom.

They would happen suddenly with no warning and they would hit hard. I found one thing that helped. I'd get up out of bed, stumble down the stairs as quietly as possible so as not to wake my household and stand outside in my back garden, with my bare feet on the earth. Breathing deeply, I would look up at the night sky and try to calm down. Sometimes this would take 30 minutes. Other times it would be an hour or more. I did this so often that rather sweetly, one of my cats began to join me, sitting at my feet, by my side until I was OK and feeling well enough to return to bed.

There's always something that forces some action and for me, the anxiety attacks were just that. Like many women struggling to find answers about their health, I turned to the Internet for help and it wasn't long before perimenopause kept cropping up. Who knew it existed? I certainly didn't. Whilst I've always known that menopause is around the corner, I had absolutely no idea that before you get to that station, you have a whole journey to undergo first.

So here I am. Truly settled in and keeping going, as best as any of us can.

Thankfully it's not all doom and gloom! I want to make that clear. I've made some changes that have helped immensely and managed to eradicate my anxiety attacks almost completely. I'm feeling much more like my old self and am even grateful. (I'll get on to that in a minute.)

Now though, let me tell you what has worked for me. Just in case, you too are stuck in a hormonal haze and clueless as to what the hell is going on with your body. It sounds a little boring but this is what has got me, back on a (better) track over the past couple of years.

Firstly, exercise. Not a ridiculous amount but consistent daily workouts of 15 mins or so. A bit of cardio here, a bit of resistance training there... exercise has really helped. I actually think working out has had the biggest impact in terms of my mental health and those god awful anxiety spells. And yes, it's slowly helping me shed those unwelcome pounds too.

Next, diet changes. Today, I really do try to watch what I eat. Less unprocessed foods and more of the good stuff. More vegetables and protein, less biscuits and french bread. You know the drill. It's helped.

I've cut down on caffeine, limiting my cups of tea to a couple a day and I've cut down on alcohol too. I love a couple glasses of red wine but sadly they no longer love me! Today, if I drink more than a couple of alcoholic drinks now, my face turns bright red (another fetching perimenopause symtom) my anxiety levels go through the roof and I wake up the next day feeling groggy and pretty horrid. There are times when I will still indulge, but most weeks? Well now it's just a tipple or two and only at the weekend.

What else? I try to take vitamins when I can and do remember and I take myself off to bed early too. As I say, it's all really boring, basic stuff but for me it's all helped hugely. I'm aware that at some point over the next few years, these changes may not be enough and a trip to the doctor is probably on the cards, but for now, I'm much happier.

Which leads me nicely on to the gratitude, that I mentioned earlier. 'Grateful for the perimenopause?! Are you mad?' I hear you cry. Well quite possibly, but here me out.

Speaking from my own personal experience (remember we're all different) perimenopause isn't and hasn't been pleasant. At times, for me at least, it's been bloody awful. However, it has also been a wake up call and one that frankly, I really needed. It's given me a cold, hard slap of reality and forced me to acknowledge that contary to how I may feel inside, I am indeed getting older and advancing in my years.

I have to start taking care of myself now. And if I don't? Well my body most definitely lets me know.

If my thirties were all about getting to grips with motherhood and working for myself, then my forties seem to be about getting to grips with me, myself and I again. Relearning how to priortise myself on occasion (which still feels so alien as a Mum of two) giving myself permisson to find time for myself, being my own advocate, upping my self-care and then some.

None of this is or has been pretty or easy at times, but I can tell you this, it's been a blessing in disguise and one I definitely, definitely needed.

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If you're struggling, please know that you're not alone! Do your research, talk to friends, visit a doctor if you feel you need more help and consider making some lifestyle changes. In solidarity with you and sending love.

Got some advice that you think is worth sharing? Comment below and let's support one another.