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Writer's pictureKatie Portman

TWELVE THINGS I'VE LEARNED ABOUT MOTHERHOOD FROM MY TWEEN DAUGHTER


Picture of 12 candles to represent tween birthday

My eldest child, my daughter, turned 12 over the weekend. I swear it feels like it's happened in less than a blink of an eye. Every time one of my children celebrate their birthdays, I go into thoughtful mode. (Anyone else?!) It appears to be part of the course. I think about how they've grown so quickly, look back through hundreds of photos of them throughout the years, reminisce about their birth and then wonder, wonder, wonder - as a Mum, have I been good enough? I firmly believe that our children are our greatest teachers, helping us identify our strengths but also holding a mirror to our weaknesses. So with that in mind, to celebrate my big girl's birthday, here are 12 things I've learned about motherhood from my beautiful and joyful 12 year old daughter.


  1. There is absolutely no feeling in the world like the moment when you hold your child for the first time. You will remember it forever and think of it often. (Especially on their birthday! See above.)

  2. The love you have for your child is like nothing you will experience or have experienced before. It really is the most beautiful thing.

  3. Motherhood never gets easier. (Sorry!) The challenges are consistent, they just change as they get older.

  4. Your children will need you more the older they get, not less. Plus their troubles become more serious.

  5. Seeing your children grow up before your eyes is both heartbreaking and awe-inspiring. Plus it's an absolute privilege. You will frequently look at your tween in astonishment and marvel at their intelligence, humour, height (!), kindness and beauty. It really is quite something!

  6. Tweens need lots of your attention. As much, if not more, than ever before. They'll need to offload their troubles about school, talk to you about friendship dilemmas and need your advice, guidance and support as they tackle challenges and problems.

  7. Contrary to what they might want you to believe, they still love cuddles and affection, so don't hold back! If you're lucky, they'll still give you the biggest, most enveloping hug, from time to time.

  8. Sometimes they'll appear much older than they are whilst other times you'll be reminded of how much of a child they still really are. It's all marvellous if a little discombobulating!

  9. One of their biggest challenges (certainly for girls) is navigating friendships. Help them learn about healthy friendships, how to manage the inevitable occasional fallouts and teach them recognise the red flags of toxic, mean girl behaviour. Explain to them how the company they keep is critical not just to their happiness, but to their self esteem too.

  10. Don’t be afraid to talk to them about adult stuff and have discussions about big topics. You’ll be amazed at how much they open up and how bright and clever they are. 

  11. Motherhood is a gift and a privilege but all mums need and deserve a break from time to time, so make sure you look after yourself too. You'll be a happier, more relaxed and confident Mum for it.

  12. Finally… no matter how bad your day is, or how bad you feel, know that nothing will cheer you up or make you feel more grateful to be alive, than when you receive a kiss, smile, chuckle or cuddle from your child. Yes motherhood is endless and exhausting at times, but children really do make life worth living.




 

Are you a parent to a tween? What would you add to the list? What's your favourite thing about motherhood?


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